The one night stand

So Roxane has been nagging at me to watch the movie Two Night Stand and finally tonight I did! This movie is so spot on in so many ways, with just the right amount of cheesy American rom-com scenes. It is really a feel good movie and it definitely makes you wish you could get snowed in with someone you just met. If I were to give this movie a rating for the plot it would have the highest rating! And this movie inspired me for my next blog post... the one night stand. 

the one night stand

I mean lets not kid ourselves, most of us has had one, two, or even a few one night stands... It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is 2017 and we no longer live in a world where sex is suppose to be saved for marriage. One night stands are there for one reason: to help liberate yourself. To be with someone that you have no special connection to can feel good, you don't owe them anything and they don't owe you anything... (I think...). This is where this movie comes in to play, what happens when the one night stand turns in to a two night stand? Well it kinda defeats the fact of the whole meaning and concept of the one night stand. One night stand you are in and out, with someone you do not necessarily know. I don't think it counts if it is a friend, or someone you already know, then it would just be a one time thing. Back to the subject; when the door has been opened to the invitation for a second night to that one night stand, all bets are off. I think this whole thing of giving each other your contact information is a way of justifying the act that was performed. You both entered in to this after hours activity, you might as well own it and call it for what it is, no-strings attached sex.

There are of course the exceptions where these one night stands can flourish in to something more than just intimacy between strangers, however; in most of these cases it is the girl that builds this fantasy up in her head - seeing as the guy is not clear as to what it is he wants. I believe the furthest a one night stand can go, in terms of relationship talk, is a loyal booty call or a longterm "fling". I mean come on, sex is part of the relationship but it is definitely not how you start one. And if you sleep with someone before getting to know them, I don't really see how anything can evolve from that.

Just from personal experience, I can say that if you prolong a one night stand - feelings are bound to be involved. The one and only time I attempted a one night stand, going home with a guy that I did not know existed before that night, I ended up dating the guy for six months and, six years later, have very good contact with him. The story itself is really one of these meet-cute stories that can make you believe in love at first sight, but he lives on the other side of the world and well I live in Brussels. The story still gives me butterflies in my stomach and makes me smile uncontrollably. 

Once upon a time....

After I graduated high school I went to Shanghai, China, to study and have my gap year. So one of my fathers oldest and closest friends lived there at the time, an amazing Englishman that I have known and known me since I was born. He was, and still is, married to a lovely Moroccan woman, Ilham, that took me in and we had weekly dinner dates at this super cute Indian restaurant called Delhi Darbar on Hongmei lu. We always ate the same thing and drank the same wine. So three weeks before I was leaving to go home my fathers friend decided not to come so it was only Ilham and I that had a girls dinner, I didn't mind since we had done it before and it was always a pleasure to talk and spend time with her. We were sitting at our usual table next to the big window, so that we could people watch and I noticed this gorgeous guy walk by, and then of course, we had this romantic movie scene where he looked at me and I looked at him and we both smile, but that was it. My dinner continues and I didn't think more about it until maybe 20 minutes later I see him and his friends walk in to the same restaurant and sit down at the table next to us (!), I was sitting facing him and he was sitting facing me - I was starstruck. Me, being the girly girl that I am, I tell her that the guy at the next table is too die for, and I couldn't really hide it because I was blushing like a child! Anyways, we sit there and exchange eye contact from time to time... awkward.

So, in Shanghai you could smoke at the restaurants - here comes the ice breaker. So I could see that he was smoking but I did not pay any attention to that until he stood up and walked over to our table and asked for a lighter. I thought it was weird but as I said, I wasn't paying attention to that. We give him a lighter and Ilham, being the wonderful woman she is, says she's heading home and that he should take me out for a drink, and then winks at me. HAAAAA! I was about to die! But it all worked out for the best. The four of us (his couple friends and us) later left the restaurant and moved to a bar, where he admitted that asking for a lighter was just an excuse to start a conversation, to which I replied "I know". Anyways, we went back to his place and the rest is pretty self explanatory. And we spent the next day together, next night together and this continued for two to three weeks - well, until I went back to Europe. And me being the hopeless romantic I am, I went back after two weeks and stayed in Shanghai for another six months. But this is just proof, that once you extend the one night stand all bets are off. The consequences of breaking the rules to the one night stand is that you will never get that perfect relationship because one of you won't be ready for it - however when that person is ready the other person will most likely not be there anymore (physically or emotionally). I think that he would agree with me that it was just never the right timing, which is really sad because I believe that we could have built something amazing together. C'est la vie...