15.01.2017

The Ex Factor

How are you suppose to act with an ex?

I am guessing that the obvious answer would be to act like you are over them and show them what it is they're missing. Everything depends on how the relationship was (since today you can be an ex boyfriend, lover, mistress, "fun"buddy, etc.) and how it ended. Whenever a relationship comes to an end, one of the two parties involved will be hurt and then everything gets messy and all common sense goes out the window. Everyone reacts differently, some people decide to cut their ex's out of their lives completely and others will choose to have their ex's in their lives. I think that everything depends on how it ended and how you chose to accept that the relationship was over.

The answer to how you are going to act depends on if you are actually over them. We are just humans so the process of getting over someone will depend on each individual - in my case, I need something or someone to transfer those emotions and feelings on to, not necessarily a rebound but I need to vent and talk about every single moment to figure out when everything went wrong. I mean it is cheesy but the moment someone makes you an option instead of a priority there is a break up just around the corner and the fact that time heals all wounds. It's cliché, but it is true. With exes it is always complicated and there is no correct way on how to act. I would say that the best way to act in front of an ex is to avoid them, I mean they are an ex for a reason and when two people have had a relationship that exceeds friendship there is no going back to that. Of course, you can act civil in public but I think that that is as far as it goes. 

I mean keep exes in the past, they are there for a reason and take that extra emotion (whether it is love, hate, disgust, pity,..) and build something with it. I mean some of the key rules to getting over a break-up are: 

  1. The time it will take you to get over the relationship is equal to the time that you spent together. It is sad, but it is true... well maybe not the total time you spent together but at least half. Say you were together for a year, it will take you six months to a year to be fully over it. Time will make everything better, therefore there is no point in whining about "how long will I feel like this?", it is simple, with everyday you will feel better. It is just the beginning that is hard. This is not to say that you won't have relationship in the mean time but rebounds are never the answer, they finish as easy as they start, and starting something with someone when you are not over someone else, it's just doomed from the start. You get over the break up within this time but this is not the time to start a new relationship.
  2. LIE! LIE! LIE! Keep a brave face. Don't let the world, including your ex know the whole truth about how devastated you are over the break-up. The fact that you are smiling and radiating happiness, even if you feel that you are falling apart on the inside, is the kind of news that travels back to your ex like the speed of light. And as a finishing touch add some fictional news about your "love life", there is nothing as effective as making it seem like you have moved on, even if you haven't. 
  3. For the girls: Avoid shopping. I am the first person to say that the answer to everything is shopping, however; you never shop on a broken heart, it is just going to make a bigger mess out of everything. 
  4. Think of your ex constantly. Might be weird to think that this would be a rule after a break-up, but as soon as you stop thinking about them they will appear. If you find it too tedious to think about them all the time, make sure you look gorgeous every time you leave you're apartment or house. 
  5. Don't go through it alone. Confined in your friends and family. It is impossible to go through a break-up alone. Call your friends up, they will run over with endless amounts of wine and ice-cream, and just sit and talk. And I am so blessed that I have a group of girls that do this exact action when there is a break-up. 

I mean in the end we are all human, and it will take everyone a different amount of time to get over an ex. And before you are over your ex, but I mean OVER them, avoid them because running into an ex before you are ready will only make a big mess out of everything. Anyways, these are just Sunday evening theories... 

 

xoxo

Amanda