"R" is for REJECTED

Curriculum vitae’s, cover letters, elevator pitches, strengths, weaknesses, where I see myself in five years and thank you emails…

“R” is for rejection.

Hey! Girl With No Job, move over, there is a new Queen in town and I am ready to reign!

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25+, taken and unemployed. There is only one positive word: taken. Well, thank God for that. Seriously #GirlWithNoJob, you need to pass that name onwards.

No so since receiving my bachelors (and I know what you are thinking… 25+, it was about time! But hey, everyone has their own road to travel so mind your own beezwax, no hate on this page).

Dear “Forget Everything You Learnt In University”,

We appreciate you taking the time to submit your application to XXX XXX XXX.

We regret to inform you, that at this point in time, we have moved on with other candidates. However, we will keep your information on hold.

Sincerely,

XXX XXX

I cannot begin to count how many of these letters I have received in the past three months, and no matter the companies, they are all the same… Side note, I have gotten through to interviews, so not all bad.. don’t think I’m that unwanted. Seriously though, I know that these are automated emails that they send out to everyone who is not qualified or does not that the 15 years of experience that they expect you to have. And I am too proud to have an internship and work for free, well, I just cannot afford to work for free…

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25+, unemployed and not broke yet, but getting there.

On behalf of all of me and my fellow soldiers who are in the same situation that I am in, please hire us, we are a lot of fun, most of us are hard workers and passionate about what we want to do and we live in a world where we cannot afford to be unemployed and not doing anything might be the most boring thing on the planet!

xxx

Bush, No Bush Or Just A Little Bit Of Bush: That Is The Question.

And no... not the George W. kind... 

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The once taboo subject of the female pubic hair has grown (pun intended) to be public sensation. A grooming industry that was once only utilised by porn stars and underwear/swimsuit models has now become a full-on successful industry. The way women groom their bush now a days has taken the world by storm. The trends and the amount time that we put into this is absolutely ridiculous, but it has become a part of who we are, and what we choose to do is somewhat dictated by society - unless you are a full fledged feminist and decide to let everything grow... hmm... 

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The obsession with having the perfect look for your taco has become as important as getting the monthly mani-pedi, eyebrow tweezing, upper lip, leg, and underarm waxing, as well as eyebrow and eyelash tinting or extensions. I mean we are just adding more and more things to the list that we need to have done to see and accept ourselves to be closer to the ideal that society has set out for us. I mean we live in an era where there is such a thing as vajazzle... normal? 

In the hit chickflick comedy that came out last year How to Be Single, Rebel Wilson stumbles upon her co-stars, Dakota Johnson, taco in the sauna and accuses her of having "LTRP" or "long-term-relationship-pubes", which suggests that only women in committed relationships allow their pubic hair to be less groomed than those of single girls... is there any truth in this?? Wilson further continues to tell Johnson to "get that taken care of" and with a little bit of humour "It's like Gandalf is starting right at me. No penis shall pass!"

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I mean everything from the 90's has come back into fashion; the chocker necklaces, the jeans skirts (were they ever out of fashion?), and John Stamos (and if you don't know who that is, you might just be too young or you've lived under a rock). So is the bush coming back into style...? 

In the 70's and 80's it was all about the apple bottom jeans and cooch with the fur. And when the 90's came falling in with Biggie and Tupac, women liked a trim and clip. When the 2000's flew in they brought with them the landing strip (which made it even clearer of where you needed to go, because apparently it was needed). The dot com era brought in all the trouble... that whole industry that was saved and was so rare before - opened up. Since Playboy magazines were not only to be found under your pillow or in a stash hidden away under your bed, now it was a simple click away on the computer. I think this is the first problem/complex that the internet gave us (because lets be honest, it is the cause to a lot of those unwanted tagged photos on myspace [seems like 100 years ago] and facebook). These millennial men grew up with the internet broadband connection that made that horrible noise and NO HD videos... obviously with the blotchy photos and videos, shaving the bush must have seemed to be a revolutionary idea! So eventually they 'grew' from Boyz 2 Men, and expected their partners to copy their dark-web fantasies and for some odd reason girls/women went a long with it, not questioning why or what we were getting ourselves into. We did not question it, just like we haven't questioned Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart's friendship.

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I mean, I still do not understand what it is that men or boys (given that they are more immature) want... but to be quite frank, I do not really care...  it is my body and my choice, the most important thing is that it is clean, healthy and neat. I ask my waxing lady pretty much every time I go do the deed about what her clients want and if she knows the reasons why they do it, like a landing strip, baby smooth or just the bikini line, and of course she does not know the reason but surprisingly, or maybe not, most of her clients go all the way. I guess I see the point, if you are going there to endure pain, might as well go all the way (?). I mean it is a personal choice (I hope) of what you choose to do with the bush, but going baby smooth does not seem hygienic (and nor is it), it is more clean and the visual aesthetics are better - of course - but is it really necessary? 

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Petra Collins, a photographer whose work has been a pedestal in the millennial culture, spoke out after an image that she, herself, had posted of her own body, of hair that was visibly poking out of her bikini briefs, got her Instagram account to be deleted and answered back that this incident felt "like the public was coming at me with a razor... forcing me to succumb to [society's] image of beauty." 

Society is of course not the only source to blame for this misunderstanding of what is acceptable or not. There are an enormous amount of movies that are super pro the natural look. According to Paz Stark, the owner of Stark Waxing studio in Los Angeles and New York states that the pop-culture movements has had a tremendous impact on women's preferences, while many women prefer to remove some hair, a triangular shape, rather than the skinny landing strip, is currently in favour. She continues to say that more and more women want a clean up and want a natural "feeling" to what their bush is suppose to be. The Brazilian is here to stay and the only difference is that people are adjusting it to themselves, but the Brazilian that we have all seen in Sex and the City of a baby smooth/take-it-all-off days are more or less done (Vogue, 2018). 

In the end it truly comes down to what you like and what makes you feel good about yourself. I highly doubt a guy/boy/man would dare say anything about your grooming preference down there. Be yourself and standup for what it is you want your body to look and feel like. 

 

xoxo,

Amanda

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The New Use For Dating Apps?

Being 26, single and a girl is not easy. There are so many perks that we(I) miss out on by trying to be a strong and independent woman (I really hope you can feel the sarcasm... who’s actually single by choice?!). No, for real, being single is so much fun. You get to go to bed whenever you want, you get to do whatever you want, and yeah you get the point. Drama-free and jealous-free life - can I get a yes please!?

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Seriously. Being single is all fun and games until you are in need for that extra muscle (pun intended). I find it incredible and when I go grocery shopping, bare in mind that I live alone and have been for three years, cannot seem to understand that I don’t need to buy food for a military troop. Every time I leave the grocery store I leave with bags and bags of food and other necessities, not thinking about that I need to carry everything up to my apartment by myself (it is one floor and there is an elevator, but from my car to the front door). And that’s not the only time I wish I had a male companion to help me around the apartment... like when these nasty spiders manage to crawl in through the window and decides to lay a nest and move in, without permission and without paying rent... I can’t kill a spider, what if it jumps on me and bites me (movie idea: Spiderwoman) . And when things break, that’s a mans job, they are the ones who should fix things and kill things. 

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Ok... so I feel like I am sounding like everything feminists are fighting against, but hey, everyone is entitled to their view.  

 

So I’ve talked about dating apps before, and I am still not actually using them. The number of dates I’ve had has gone from 1 to.... well um... 1. But I am not too worried about that. But I have re-downloaded a few of these apps and I’ve been having a lot of fun - just looking. I’ve only been looking at the professions of the dudes out there, because you see... well... the lamp in my bathroom broke. No not the lamp bulb (I am capable of changing that by myself like a big girl) but the actual light switch! I mean I am no electrician, so how am I suppose to fix that (my landlord is the most annoying and slowest person so trying to take matters into my own hands). 

Here in Belgium we don’t have Craig’s List, so posting a notice that I need a handyman or electrician was out of the question so I checked out the dating apps. Most of the time their profession is noted so all you need to do is look for an electrician, and in my case I found a couple. None of them I would have spoken to if I actually was using the app for the right reasons, but hey, there are no rules to how to use the apps. So I took matters into my own hands and started to chat with a few. Being polite but also just asking questions about electricity, light switches being my main topic of conversation. I mean I did not lead them on, I was only talking about their line of work to try and see if either they would offer to fix it or if I could maybe fix it myself... I quickly came to the conclusion that this was a bad idea - because I would never want to change come electrical cables (recepie for disaster) and I wouldn’t want to owe someone a favour for a freaking light switch! But if I thought about this for dating apps, then I am surly not the only one. 

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So to conclude the story. I actually contacted my landlord, and that all the info I have on that (no joke that he is slow!). But I mean, I think that recycling these dating apps to business promoting apps wouldn’t be half bad! 

 

xxx,  

Amanda